“I’m scared!” – 10 tips to help your toddler or pre-schooler with their fears

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. It is likely that if you are reading this blog, you have a toddler or pre-school aged child who has started to say “I’m scared” about one particular thing, or is saying it regularly throughout the day in relation to lots of different things.

The feeling of being scared (or fear being the emotion) is very normal and natural and part of our flight, fight or freeze response. Feeling scared (or experiencing fear) is something which is essential to human survival. This response helps to let us know when we are in danger and can then trigger us to take steps to protect ourselves and get out of the dangerous situation.

My little one will only use the potty or toilet at nursery (or at home)!

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. You might be in the situation where your little one has mastered using the toilet/potty in one environment quicker than the other – this might be at home but it could be at nursery! Toilet training is something that can take time as it is all about biology, timings and developmental stages…but we also need to take into account the environments your little one spends time in.

If a child is worried or anxious about anything this may cause the body to tense which in turn can make going to the toilet challenging. It can lead to ‘holding’ either, or both, wee and poo until they are in an environment where they feel relaxed, or, in some cases, when they are put into a nappy for nap or bedtime.

Everyone has different experiences. For some their little one is quite happy to use the toilet or potty at nursery, but refuses to at home, or they are great at home but refuse to go at nursery! I am going to look at some of the reasons why this might be and give you some strategies to help.

‘Fall back’ – how to prepare your child for the October clock change!

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. The day when clocks change is coming up and it can always be a worry that this is going to have an effect, meaning all your hard work on getting a good sleep routine in place could be ruined. Fear not! There are some easy ways to keep this on track!

This blog specifically focusses on the clock change that we have in October, where we ‘fall back’ and gain an extra hour…or we hope that this would be the case but not always so when we have little ones.

Why children need ‘rough and tumble’ in their day!

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. When we look at children’s play we often talk about the need for them to be physical and often we think about this as going to the park, climbing, running etc, but we do also need to appreciate our children’s need for ‘rough and tumble’ play.

Why does my child tell lies?

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. At some stage we will all experience a child telling a lie (big or small) - it is a natural and normal part of development. However, this doesn’t mean that it is right, or something that we ignore, but it is something that we need to appreciate is quite a complicated concept for our children to understand. I will go into this a bit more below, but if you think about lying and what goes around this you will see what I mean when I say it is complicated!

How to help your child prepare for starting school!

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. It might not feel like it when we are only a few weeks into the holidays, but it’s that time of the year where everyone is thinking and talking about ‘starting school’! When I was planning this blog I was going to cover the usual things to think about when you child is about to start school for the first time, but then realised that even if your child is already at school – be it primary or secondary – they experience very similar emotions and uncertainty about going into a new school year…it isn’t just about starting school.

Why does my little one wake within an hour of going to bed?

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. Do you find that you put your little one to bed at night and they go off to sleep, but then wake up anywhere between 20 to 60 mins after they have gone to bed and need resettling? This is often to referred to as a ‘false start bedtime’ and it often means that you have to go back to your little one to resettle them or in some cases repeat the bedtime routine so that they go back off to sleep. For some once your little one is settled after this then they tend to sleep for a longer period, or for some it can be for the remainder of the night.

Why is everything with my child such a battle?

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. This is a very common question that lots of parents ask. These battles are in relation to everyday things such as getting them to clean their teeth, put their shoes on etc. as well as things like not wanting to go to certain places or just refusing to be cooperative in general!

The first thing we need to do in these situations is to look at what’s happening from their perspective; they are on their agenda and we are on ours, but neither party is considering the other. If your little one thinks that they are doing one thing and you think they need to be doing another, this can trigger a big outburst but also frustration from both sides. This is completely natural – think about how often, when we are told not to do something / how to do something or continually instructed to do things, we might get annoyed, frustrated and ultimately resistant to doing what we are being asked to do.

My child always cries when I drop them at nursery

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant. When your little one goes to nursery one of the most common things that any parent or carer has to deal with, is your little one crying when you drop them off. For some it can start before even leaving home and your little one saying they don’t want to go or getting very upset (I was this child and my parents still remember it now!) and for others it is once you are at nursery and having to say those goodbyes.

I spent 10 years working in nurseries and have supported hundreds of families through this difficult stage, it does get easier and there are some things that you can try to help…

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Family consultancy and training