How to handle ‘toilet talk’ in young children: Our tips for managing ‘bathroom humour’!

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant

If you know, you know! When a child hits this stage of development, they find all types of ‘toilet talk’ or ‘bathroom humour’ absolutely hilarious! Poo this, bum that, and then watching the reaction they get! It’s all fun and games at first, but for some parents, it quickly becomes tiresome, and working out how to manage it can be a real challenge.

Why and when do children go through this stage?

Learning new words: Children are discovering new words, and they often find these particular words interesting – especially when they see that others (mainly other children) find them funny!
Reactions: The reactions they get from saying these words are a big motivator. They love to see the cause and effect!
Body awareness: They are developing a new awareness of their body parts and bodily functions.
Exploring social norms: As children interact with other children, they often pick up on new words that might be considered ‘taboo’. This can be a way of testing boundaries in their social environments.
Typical age: This phase usually occurs around 3-4 years old, but it can start earlier or last longer depending on the child.

What can I do when my child is using ‘toilet talk’?

Don’t overreact
Showing lots of reaction or attention can encourage your child to keep trying this new ‘skill’. Try to stay calm. Overreacting might give them the validation they’re looking for.
Try not to laugh!
We all know it can be funny, but if your child sees that it makes you laugh, they’ll likely keep repeating it for that feel-good factor. Stay composed, even if it’s hard!
Redirect and explain
Acknowledge that they find these words funny but explain that they’re not appropriate in certain situations. For example, “I can see that you’re finding it funny, but we don’t use these words at the table/when talking to adults.”
Ignore it
Sometimes, ignoring the behaviour altogether can quickly shut this phase down. However, be mindful if they try it in various places like school or at grandparents' houses, different reactions from different people might cause them to repeat the behaviour more.
Teach appropriate language: When your child uses ‘toilet talk,’ it can be an opportunity to introduce appropriate language for body parts and functions. Encourage them to use the correct terms like "bottom" instead of "bum”. This can help guide them toward more socially acceptable language.
Set clear boundaries: It’s important to set clear boundaries about where and when certain words are acceptable. For example, “You can talk about that at home, but not in public.” Be consistent with these boundaries to avoid confusion.
Model respectful language: Children learn by observing. Make sure you're modelling respectful language and addressing bodily functions in a calm, matter-of-fact way. When they see you handling these topics in this way, they’ll begin to mirror your approach.
Use humour to your advantage: Instead of completely shutting down the ‘toilet talk,’ sometimes you can use humour to redirect their attention. A playful response like, “Oh, that’s a silly word!” can acknowledge their fun without feeding the behaviour.
Avoid shaming or punishing: While it can be frustrating, try to avoid shaming or punishing your child for using these words. Instead, help them understand the social rules behind language and boundaries.
Be positive with your toilet talk: often when we talk about poo we can talk about it being yucky, sticky etc and when our children think something is not very nice or yucky they love to talk it about it even more! From a young age always try to talk about things such as wee, poo etc in a positive way and explain its function in our bodies, this way it can take the ‘fun’ out of the words!
Be patient
It’s a normal phase of development and, luckily, it will reduce and eventually stop over time. Patience is key!

The ‘toilet talk’ phase is a rite of passage for many young children. It can be amusing at first, but with time and patience, you’ll be able to guide your child through this stage while helping them understand appropriate social language. Remember, consistency, calmness, and patience are your best tools!

f you want more information about potty / toilet training have a look at our other Toilet Training blogs or download our step by step video guide.

We can also help with potty training at one of our parent consultations - click here for more info.

We also have a few podcast episodes on different aspects of Toilet Training - you can listen to them here: From Newborn to Teen and Everything In Between