How do I stop my child from running off?

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant

Why do children run off?
Running off is a natural part of early childhood development. It’s often about the sense of freedom and excitement that children get from moving independently and they may not yet have a full grasp of the dangers involved, like cars or busy streets. Running feels like a game, and they may find it fun to get ahead of you or explore areas you haven't yet reached. Sometimes, it’s simply about testing boundaries, pushing limits to see how far they can go before you stop them.

How to stop your child running off - my 11 top tips:

1. Set clear boundaries and use a consistent command (magic word)
   Make sure your child understands the rules when you’re out and about. Use a simple, specific word like “freeze”, “stop”, or “wait” to get their attention. Consistently using the same ‘magic word’ helps them recognise that it’s a command they need to respond to immediately. Practice this at home so they get used to the idea, and when you’re outside, use it with confidence.  I do need to put a note here that it is important not to overuse the word so that it maintains it meaning.  When we are worried or anxious we can jump to saying this command word before we really need to, if we do this then it can mean that our little ones stop responding to it because it’s being used too quickly or too frequently.

2. Make staying safe fun
   Safety can feel like a restriction to young children, so making it fun can help. Incorporate games or positive reinforcement to make following rules more enjoyable. For example, create a ‘stopping game’ where they have to freeze like a statue every time you say the magic word. The goal is to make it feel more like a game than an instruction.

3. Play running and stopping games
   Incorporate playful activities into your routine that teach your child when to stop. Try games like ‘What’s the Time Mr Wolf?’, ‘Red Light, Green Light’, or ‘Freeze Tag.’ These games help reinforce the concept of listening to instructions and stopping when needed, while also letting them burn off energy in a controlled, fun way.

4. Positive reinforcement
   Children thrive on praise, especially when it comes to new behaviours. Every time your child listens to you and stops on command, be sure to acknowledge it with positive feedback. Praise them for being a “super listener” or “following the rules.” You can also make a big deal of the small victories, for example when they walk calmly next to you or stop quickly when you say “freeze.” Celebrating these moments encourages them to continue with the behaviours and actions that are appropriate in that moment.

5. Avoid chasing (unless it’s urgent)
   Chasing after your child when they run off can turn into a game for them, often encouraging them to run even more. Instead, try to remain calm and call their name in a firm, but calm tone. Use your ‘magic word’ and give clear, actionable instructions like, “Stop at the bench” or “Come back to the car”. Your calm demeanour lets them know that running off is not a fun activity and that you are in control.

6. Hand-holding in crowded areas
   In busy or dangerous areas like car parks or near roads, holding hands is a great way to ensure your child stays close to you. However, give them opportunities to walk independently in safer settings, where they can build their confidence and feel a sense of freedom. Balancing hand-holding with independent walking will help your child feel secure and empowered.

7. Use reins or wrist link
   While it’s not for everyone, reins or wrist link can be a helpful tool for particularly strong-willed children who constantly run off. This allows them a bit of freedom while still keeping them attached to you, providing you with peace of mind in busy places. Always explain why you're using it—this way, they don’t feel restricted but rather safe.  Where possible try to encourage hand-holding alongside the use of the reins or wrist link.

8. Make walking an adventure
   Transform ’boring’ walks into fun adventures. Give your child little jobs to do along the way, such as being in charge of spotting certain objects or helping you navigate. You could turn the walk into a scavenger hunt or give them the task of counting cars or finding a certain colour on the sidewalk. This keeps their attention focused on the activity at hand, instead of the temptation to run off.

9. Model the behaviour you want to see
   Children often mimic what they see. If they see you following rules and respecting boundaries when out and about, they’re more likely to follow your lead. Set an example by walking calmly, listening to instructions, and staying close to your child. Your child will learn through observation, making it more likely that they will listen to you in return.

10. Teach about safety with stories
    Sometimes, children may not understand why you’re so adamant about them staying close. Simple stories or explanations about safety—like why it’s important to stay near you in crowded places or not run into the road—can help them grasp the concept. You could even make up a story about a character who didn’t listen and ended up in a sticky situation (but all was ok because they learned to follow the rules).

11. Use a reward system
    Incorporate a reward system to motivate your child to listen. For example, after successfully walking with you and stopping when asked a certain number of times, they could earn a sticker, extra playtime, or a small treat. Read more about this in our blog about rewards here.
    
    Remember, consistency is key!
    It’s important to stay consistent with your approach and be patient. Children are still learning about boundaries, safety, and how to follow instructions. By using these tips and staying calm, you’ll help your child learn what’s expected of them and create a safer, more enjoyable experience for both of you when you’re out and about!

 While you are here we have lots more blogs on various topics which you can find here, as well as our downloadable webinars on topics such as behaviour and emotions, sleep and toilet training.

Don’t forget that we offer parent consultations should you need support with anything from sleep to behaviour and so much more! Details of the packages we offer can be found here.

We also have a Podcast ‘Newborn to Teen and Everything in Between’, you can listen here.