Getting to know... Mark Williams from 'Fathers Reaching Out'

In 2004 Mark Williams from Fathers Reaching Out experienced depression and suffered for years until he had a breakdown.  He founded International Fathers’ Mental Health Day and the #Howareyoudad campaign which makes sure that the whole family is getting support.  Claire connected with Mark on Twitter when researching Dads and Post Natal Depression (PND) and we thought that it would be really interesting to get to know him a bit better.  

Tell us about what happened to you when you experienced your own mental health issues.

After witnessing my wife go through a traumatic birth and myself struggle in silence for years, I didn't know anything about postnatal depression in 2004. 

Like some parents at risk I had an undiagnosed disorder called ADHD and was diagnosed after hitting crisis at 40. If I was screened back then I would have been diagnosed with PTSD and Postnatal Depression but didn’t know until I had a breakdown five years after my wonderful boy was born. 

I didn't get an overwhelming feeling of love for my little boy, but my bonding with him grew after giving up work for 6 months to care for my wife who had severe postnatal depression. I now know that up to fifty per cent of dads get depression looking after their loved ones too.

I used alcohol to cope but luckily I had family support for my wife while I didn't tell anyone - I was very unwell.

 What are you specifically campaigning for in terms of better mental health for fathers?

Research tells us that the biggest killer in men under 50 is suicide and men with perinatal mental health problems are 47 times more at risk of suicide than at any other time. So, with over 600,000 male suicides happening globally each year, we want The World Health Organisation, which doesn't recommend screening of new dads only mums, to update their policies. 

It is still very much that people think PND only affects women, how does it affect men and when can it happen?

It's getting better! The simple way to explain it is that if there is no baby or pregnancy that man wouldn't be more anxious or depressed at that time otherwise. One in ten dads suffer but we know it's higher as we don't really screen all parents yet.  

What are the signs to look for that will help people to recognise that a dad is suffering with mental health issues? 

I like to take a person-centred approach and so it can be different for everyone, but definitely look out for personality changes in the antenatal and postnatal period with a potential increase in alcohol intake and avoiding situations. I have two published books which explain more: Daddy Blues (Memior)and Fathers and Perinatal Mental Health with Dr Jane Hanley.

Where can dads go for help if they feel that they need to talk to someone?

It's a postcode lottery but some incredible services with Dads Matter in Manchester, Dads in Mind in Bristol, Dads Can Cymru in Wales and The Dads’ Network. There are some amazing resources like Dan Fallon who gets dads fit and Dad AF an App for dads. Have a look at Andy Man Club too. 

It depends which area you live in but speak with your GP or health visitor if you are struggling to access Community Mental Health teams. There is lots of support to chat about your mental health including looking at what's in your area with Hub of Hope https://hubofhope.co.uk/

NHS https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

What are your hopes/wishes for the #Howareyoudad campaign? How can people get involved?

I want Nice Guidelines to include the word ‘Fathers’ in their pathway of care which is being reviewed again in 2022. I would love if everyone who reads this would write to your Local MP and get them on board. 

It must have been amazing to win Inspirational father of the year and local hero at The Pride of Britain Awards in 2012 – how did it feel and what did it lead on to? 

It's nice to win awards and I also only recently had one from the Prime Minister (Point of Light award) from Mrs May, but if I’m honest it's just great for awareness and my biggest reward is knowing that more dads are now getting better support than they were ten years ago.

What was it like meeting the Royal Family on World Mental Health Day in 2016?  Which members of the family did you meet and what did you talk about?!

I have been lucky enough to meet them three times personally, first on World Mental Health Day with The Duke of Cambridge and then twice with the The Duchess of Cambridge - Family Action is an incredible charity which helps all parents. 

We talked about the need to include all parents when it comes to mental health support and about my personal experiences and experiences of helping parents.

You’ve recently contributed to ‘The New Dad’s Survival Guide’ by Rob Kemp – what will new dads learn from your section? (and where can they buy a copy?!)

It is in all good book shops and on Amazon – it is great for dads as there aren’t really very many books out there! I was honoured when Rob asked me and I wrote a few pages on postnatal depression and some information on what signs to look out for in men.

Do you have a favourite quote or saying that helps you to keep positive? 

“The Quicker the Help - The Quicker the Recovery!” - Mark Williams. 

“Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them up” – Unknown.

Don’t forget that we offer parent consultations should you need support with anything from sleep to behaviour and so much more! Details of the packages we offer can be found here.

We also have a podcast - ‘Newborn to Teen and Everything in Between’ - listen here.

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