Is your child sitting comfortably at mealtimes?
Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant
When it comes to mealtimes can you be sure that your little one is sitting comfortably? We can often find that babies, toddlers and older children can fidget at mealtimes, want to climb out of a highchair or refuse to use the chair that you are suggesting.
For our children to eat well they also need to be sitting comfortably, but what do I mean by this?
The position that they sit in is important
Before we look at anything else we need to make sure that our little ones are sitting in the right position. So what, I hear you ask, is the right position?
Think about when you have been to a bar or restaurant, and they have the high bar stools which look super cool, but when you sit on them you realise you are finding it quite tricky to find your balance. Then think about what you do to be able to sit comfortably on these types of stools – you feel with your feet to find something to rest them on, something to help you feel grounded/balanced. You might also lean back into the back rest (if it has one) and possibly lean on the table or bar with your arm which again helps with your stability. Then think about if you order a meal while sitting on the stool. Are you going to be eat comfortably and what might you need to help? This is likely to be the same as children need, which are:
Their back needs to be supported. Is the highchair or chair that they are using too big, which means that they need to sit / lean forward in the highchair or chair, if so then they need to have an additional back support (or even a rolled-up towel or pillow behind them) to help provide stability.
The seat needs to be deep enough that it comes to the back of their knees whilst sitting. This helps with their core stability and comfort but helps to put them sitting at a 90-degree angle.
Their feet should be on a flat, firm surface. In order for our little ones to feel supported they need to have their feet on a flat surface. If they don’t have their feet flat on a firm surface, they can find it very difficult to balance so will need to use their core muscles to do this using all their strength to sit comfortably and then struggle to use cutlery.
I took the footrest away!
I have worked with lots of families where they have taken the foot plate off the highchair because their child tried to stand up in the highchair, or they never actually fitted it as didn’t think it would be needed.
If your child is trying to stand in the highchair, this can be a very challenging and frustrating phase for them (and you!). It is important to keep the footrest though to help with their coordination and comfort at mealtimes and well as to help them when using their cutlery. Use the harness for the highchair so you know that if they do go to stand, they are completely safe and not able to climb / fall out. Try not to give lots of attention for the climbing attempts but focus on the positives such as when they are sitting nicely, when they are trying to use their cutlery etc. and it will quickly become something that they are no longer interested in doing.
Our highchair doesn’t have a foot rest..what do we do?
Depending on the make of the highchair there are now products available which are universal and will fit most highchairs. I have listed a couple of options at the end of the blog.
What about older toddlers and children who are not in highchairs?
If your child is out of a highchair and moved to a ‘grown up seat’ it is still important to provide the same 3 things as above, just with some adaptions!
Their back needs to be supported - a back support going behind the child to close the gap can help. Sitting on benches can mean that children are very fidgety as they don’t have their backs supported - these are best avoided or positioned up against a wall so that this can act as a back support.
The seat needs to fit comfortably up to the back of their knees so that they are at a 90-degree angle.
Make sure that when children first move to an adult chair they still have their feet on a flat surface so you can’t see their feet dangling. If you can see dangly feet(!) have a little foot stool which goes under the table that they can rest their feet on. This can really help to reduce that fidgeting! Some options for foot stools are detailed at the end of the blog.
My child always wants to kneel on the chair
This can be seen in lots of children and this is very likely to be because the chair that they are sitting in doesn’t tick the above points and they aren’t comfortable, or it might be that they don’t feel they are high enough to reach the table. By kneeling, your child is helping to balance themselves by putting their body on a flat surface (without any dangling!). Some products that can help with this are below.
If you have a little one who is struggling with mealtimes, for example they can’t sit still or they don’t want to use cutlery, then it can be a good idea to look at their sitting position before anything else!
Click here to see some products (footrests, footstools, chair height raisers, back supports and travel highchairs) which will help with these issues.
While you are here we have lots more blogs on various topics which you can find here, as well as our downloadable webinars on topics such as behaviour and emotions, sleep and toilet training.
Don’t forget that we offer parent consultations should you need support with anything from sleep to behaviour and so much more! Details of the packages we offer can be found here.
We also have a Podcast ‘Newborn to Teen and Everything in Between’, you can listen here.
This blog contains affiliate links.