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Is my child having a nightmare or a night terror?

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant

 
 

It is very common for children (and adults) to experience dreams, bad dreams and nightmares.  This is often a normal part of sleeping although it can be very hard to watch or listen to your child if they are having a nightmare or night terror.   

I am often asked by parents what the best thing is to do to help their child when they are having a nightmare or night terror, but to do this we first need to look at what the difference is between the two. 

What is a night terror?

  • Night terrors happen in deep sleep, which is in the first third of the night.

  • A child won’t have any memory of the night terror in the morning.

  • During a night terror your child may have their eyes open and be sitting up, but they are actually still asleep.

  • Night terrors typically occur in children aged between 3-8 years old.  Children tend to grow out of them.

  • Some night terrors can last for several minutes (up to around 15 minutes) and for some children it can happen more than once a night.

  • Night terrors can be more common in children who have a family history of night terrors or sleepwalking behaviours.

  • When experiencing a night terror your child may scream or thrash around and often not recognise you if you try to give them comfort. 

What to do if your child is having a night terror:

  • Don’t try to wake your child as this could make them more agitated or upset.

  • Don’t intervene unless they are not safe.  Night terrors are frightening to watch but they don’t cause harm to the child.

  • Try to keep as calm as possible and wait until your child is calm again.

  • If you find your child is having a night terror at the same time each night, then it might help to wake them 15 mins before the time they typically experience the night terror for around 7 days to see if this can stop it from happening. 

  • If your child is having night terrors several times a night or most nights, then it is a good idea to speak with your GP so that they can look at what might be triggering the episodes.

What is a nightmare?

  • Typically nightmares happen when we are in REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep which is in the later stage of sleep (early hours of the morning).

  • Your child may wake up and remember details of their nightmare and describe them to you. 

  • Nightmares are a normal part of sleep.  They are most common from 3 to 6 years old and children often grow out of them. 

 What to do if your child is having a nightmare:

  • If they wake up and are upset, offer comfort and reassure them that everything is ok and that it is a bad dream.  

  • If your child doesn’t wake up during their nightmare then don’t feel you have to wake them as this may disorientate them and cause them to be more upset.

  • Talk to your GP if your child is having the same nightmare or nightmares with a recurring theme, or if they have been triggered by a trauma that the child has experienced.  

  • Avoid screens for at least one hour before bed and monitor what your child is watching during the day to make sure that it isn’t something too scary which can then cause the nightmares.

 
 

Things to help both night terrors and nightmares:

  • Talk to your child about any worries that they might have at the time but not linking to the nightmare/night terror as this can cause more concern or worry for them.

  • Think about introducing something like worry dolls, dream catchers or similar so that this can help provide some comfort and reassurance when going to bed.

  • A night light might be something that will help. If this is something that you use it is important that this is a red or amber light so as not to disturb sleep like a blue or yellow light might

  • Have a relaxing and calm bedtime routine so that your child has time to wind down before bed and falls to sleep as relaxed as possible.

We have listed some books about dreams on our Amazon recommendations page which we hope will be helpful.

For more information about sleep you might be interested in ‘Your Guide to Sleep’ - our step-by-step video guide, our other sleep blogs, or you might feel that you would like further support from a 1:1 sleep consultation - more information on our parenting consultations is here.

We also have a podcast - ‘Newborn to Teen and Everything in Between’ - Listen here.

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SleepRebekah Frankcomparenting, children, families, nanny, childcare, sleep, sleep environment, bedtime routine, nightmare, night terror, nightmares, night terrors, what is a night terror?, what is a nightmare?