How to develop your child’s communication skills
Written by Kate Burgess, Speech and Language Therapist
Kate
Language and Communication development in children is a phenomenal process. Babies go from having an instinctive, reactive cry to being able to use hundreds of words in short phrases by the time they are three years old. And it continues to grow and develop well into primary school and beyond.
For some children, this process happens smoothly without parents and carers feeling like they’re doing anything ‘extra’ or ‘special’. Just chatting along to your child, reading books, singing songs and hey presto! Language is developing.
Reading together
A report by Speech and Language UK (September 2023) ‘Listening to unheard children’, has highlighted that there has been a significant increase in the UK of the number of children with Speech, Language and Communication Needs (SLCN). That number is now at 1.9 million children in the UK, today, needing support with their communication skills. You can read the full report here.
This clearly shows us that language development isn’t something that ‘just happens’ for everyone. And if it’s not just happening for your child, you are far from alone.
While some children will catch up with their peers without any additional support and seem to do it spontaneously, others need a helping hand. It can be really difficult to know exactly which group your child is going to fall into.
Early Intervention is a term that’s used a lot these days, and for good reason. Supporting children and their families as soon as a potential need for support is identified has been shown - again and again - to lead to better outcomes than offering support later down the line. But with waiting lists being so long, it can sometimes feel like getting this early support is a real challenge
Surprise!
Three things you could try, are:
Make sure you’re face to face with your child. Sit or lie on the floor, put them in the high chair or sit them on your lap, but try to be opposite each other. This is incredibly simple and extremely effective. Being face to face means:
You can both easily make and maintain eye contact (though it’s important to know that some children find making eye contact really uncomfortable. I’d never suggest that you insist on eye contact, but by being face to face you are making it as easy as possible)
You can easily see each other’s facial expressions - your facial expressions will hold clues about what the words you’re saying mean, which is really useful for children who are learning all about words and communication
Interaction feels natural
Your body language, by being face to face says “what you have to say is important to me; I am paying attention”
You are in a better position to notice your child’s non-verbal communication. Once you notice it, you can respond to it. When you respond to it, your child feels rewarded, so will try again and learn this new skill!
2. Less Asking, More Explaining (L.A.M.E). Try to reduce your questions, and instead use comments or explanations about what’s happening. No body learns well from being quizzed when you don’t know the answer. For example, switch ‘what have you got?’ to ‘you’ve got a book’ or ‘where’s the tiger’ to ‘I can see the tiger, here’.
3. Use repetition. Don’t be afraid to say the same words and phrases several times in one activity or game. Repetition is a child’s best friend when it comes to learning and they need you to be repetitive to help them get to grips with what you’re saying. Every new skill needs lots of practise and learning how to use language is just the same.
These tips and ideas often form the first part of Early Intervention and work so well because parents/caregivers spend so much time with their children - far more than any Speech and Language Therapist ever can or will!
If you’re on the waiting list for a Speech and Language Therapy assessment, your therapist will be delighted that you’re already thinking about your interactions and making them as high quality as possible. And for some children, accessing high quality interactions from their care givers will be all they need to make progress and catch up with their peers.
It’s really important that you know that if your child is finding learning how to communicate difficult it is not your fault. You can’t cause a communication need, but with the right guidance, you can be someone who helps your child develop their skills.
If you’d like more ideas about how you can develop your child’s language and communication skills, I have an online course available for parents, caregivers and those that work with young children to learn more tools or strategies. The course includes not just what to do, but how to use each tool in your busy day to day lives so you can be confident you’re using each tool often enough to really make a difference, with no need for additional resources or needing to create lots of extra time. My instagram page @wecancommunikate is also full of top tips and ‘how to’ guides, with examples of how I use the strategies at home with my own children.
The sooner you get started, the sooner it starts getting easier. I promise, just a little practise each day can go a long way.
You can find more information about Kate’s online course on her website here. Kate has kindly given a 20% discount code for Bespoke Family, simply add BESPOKE20 at checkout.
While you are here you might be interested in our video guides (webinars) on various topics including behaviour, sleep, play, toilet training and more - click here.
If you are looking for 1:1 support with anything from sleep to behaviour take a look at our parent consultation packages. Details can be found here.