My baby/child hates bath time!
Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant
It is very often the case that your child, who loved having a bath all of a sudden stops wanting to go in! We often see bath time as that ‘wind down’ opportunity before bedtime and when our little one refuses to get in or gets upset we can worry that this might affect bedtime etc.
Please be reassured that some children will go through this phase, it can be normal and it is all about their stage of development at the time.
For some children there are several reasons which may trigger bath refusal, these can be:
They have had a previous experience which upset them when in the bath, perhaps the water was a little too cold or a little too warm, they slipped or felt unsure of what was happening.
Bath times being too long so they get bored or cold, leading to negative feelings about having a bath.
Bath time is too late or too close to bedtime and your child is just too tired to be able to cope with the situation.
As bath time can often be the start of the lead up to bedtime, if your child is finding bedtimes tricky they can then start to get worked up at bath time as they know what is coming. Resistance to bath time might therefore because they are worrying about bedtime.
The sounds (echoing) can be very different in a bathroom and sometimes, if your child has had an experience of the sound being very loud or made them jump, this can then put them off going back into the bath.
Often bath time includes hair washing which many children don’t enjoy, which can lead to a negative association to bathing for this reason.
Worries about something like being sucked down the plug hole, or even things such as sharks!
When running a bath for your baby or child, it is important to always fill the bath with cold water and then top up with hot to avoid your little one getting into bath which is too hot.
You can test the water with your wrist or elbow - it should be around body temperature (37 degrees). You may want to use a bath thermometer to test the temperature, which is fine, but always make sure that you do one final test with your elbow or wrist before your little one gets in to make sure that it isn’t too hot.
Never leave children unattended in or near water even when you are running them. Always empty baths, paddling pools and sinks etc as soon as they are no longer in use.
Newborns
Having a bath can be relaxing for our newborns but it can also be an experience where they feel vulnerable. You want your baby to feel as safe and secure as possible so that their bath time experience is an enjoyable one.
Here are some ways to achieve this:
Consider using a bath support within the main bath or baby bath (I have included some examples at the end of the blog). This will help you to hold your baby securely and keep eye contact etc which will reassure them. Don’t forget to keep talking or even singing to them so that they feel comforted by your voice.
If you hold your baby, make sure that you have a good hold of them so that they feel fully supported. If you do not feel comfortable or confident holding your baby in the water then consider a bath support (as above).
As mentioned previously it is important to get the temperature of the water right so that your little one is not too cold but also not too hot. You can use a bath thermometer (again links below) but they can give incorrect readings at times so always double check the temperature using your wrist or elbow before putting your baby in.
For some newborns, being undressed and then put into the water can sometimes be a little too much. If you think your baby might feel too exposed, you can wrap them in a muslin and lower them into the water in the muslin so that they feel contained and warm. Slowly release the muslin as they get more and more used to the feeling of being able to put out their arms and feel the water etc. This might something that you need to do for a couple of weeks, slowly taking the muslin away as they get used to the water.
Once your newborn’s umbilical cord has dried and fallen off you, can then start to get their tummy wet. To offer some reassurance for your baby it can help to put a warm flannel over their tummy as this helps them to keep warm but also gives them the feeling of being cuddled.
The timing of your baby’s bath is also something to consider, if you think that your baby is overtired at bath time then you might want to look at changing the time slightly (it might only be by 15 mins or so). If your baby is overtired, they may find having a bath too much and get upset, if you are able to find a time when they are not too hungry or tired this will help to make it a more enjoyable experience for both you and your baby. You can then look to move the bath to a time which is closer to bedtime as they get a little older and are more able to cope.
Hunger can also mean that your baby isn’t able to enjoy their bath so you can look at the timing of the bath around feeds, or you also have the option of doing a split feed (doing a small feed before the bath and then giving the remaining feed (breast or bottle) once they are out of the bath) as this helps them to have something in their tummy which means they can enjoy the bath more.
Encourage your little one to get used to having water trickled over their head and face (remember they have been in water for the last 9 months!). This needs to be very gentle and only small amounts using a sponge or flannel, not overwhelming them but just so that they are getting used to this sensation from a young age as this will help as they get older and you have to do hair washes etc.
Older babies
As above with the newborn age group, make sure that your little one is not overly tired or hungry around their bath time. Think about feed times and nap/bedtimes and adjust these if you think that either or both these reasons might be causing your baby to not enjoy bath time.
Depending on the age of your baby they might be ready to progress from a bath support to a more upright position so you might want to use a bath seat (options detailed below) - always follow the manufacturers guidance on age etc. If you decide not to use a bath seat then do look at having a bath mat which will help your baby to sit without slipping and sliding around - again I have put a couple of options for these below.
A big bath can feel very open and exposed for some babies, so initially consider putting the baby bath into the main bath to help them with the transitionc. Then put some water in the main bath so that they can get used to the sensation before moving them into the main bath. It might need to be a gradual process so that they can adjust.
Bathing with your baby can be a great way to make bath times more enjoyable and it can also be a lovely bonding and playtime for you both. Do make sure that you feel comfortable to have your baby in the bath with you and it is sensible to have your partner or family member close by to help with getting your little one in and out of the bath to make sure you are both safe.
Trying running the bath without your baby in the bathroom if you think that they might be affected by the noise of the running water. This can be quite loud for some babies and if they don’t understand what it is they can be unsure which leads to the resistance. Then encourage gentle exposure to the noise starting the taps off gently and letting your baby see the running water from your lap while you offer reassurance that everything is ok.
Encourage water play during the day for example, putting a washing up bowl on the floor which they can splash in, or a small amount of water in the tray of their highchair. They might also spend some time in a shallow paddling pool – all of this helps to develop a positive association with water.
Toddlers
Make bath time fun! You can use a variety of approaches and some which you might want to try are:
Toys in the bath – this can be anything from toy animals to balls from a ball pool (as long as they are safe to be in water).
Bubble machine on the side in the bathroom (battery operated) so they blow over the bath
Using a bath mat on the bottom of the bath is important so that your little one feels secure when sitting or standing and helps to avoid any slipping which can really frighten little ones.
If your little one is getting upset as they associate hair washing with being in the bath look at what you can do to help with overcoming this worry. You might want to consider:
Using a shower attachment to do the hair wash rather than using a jug of water?
Getting them to look up at the ceiling so that the water drains down their back and not down their face. You can also give them a dry flannel to hold over their face so that if any water does come down their face they are able to dry this with the flannel.
Using a shampoo shield - there are several on the market – here is an example on Amazon , however they aren’t always that successful.
Doing the hair wash at the start of the bath so that it gets it out of the way and then they are able to play and the hair wash is done, then you are ending bath time on a positive note rather than a negative one!
Having a bath in the day with no water so they can just play. Maybe use the bath toys to help adjust to the bath. It’s important not to do this at a time when they might be tired or hungry.
Another option is to encourage ‘sink play’ in the bathroom. This is when you fill the sink with water (possibly coloured with food colouring) and then put some toys in and around the sink. You can then have a step so that they can get to the sink and let them play as they wish. This can help with building up the fun element with water and also being in the bathroom.
Reading books about having a bath can also help. We have put some links to some options below.
If your little one is reluctant to get into the bath, consider letting them stand in the bath, not making them sit down. It might be that you need to give them a wash with them standing and they might want to play with toys on the edge of the bath (this is why it is important to have a bathmat to avoid slipping) but it also might be that they are only in there for a couple of minutes. However, this is absolutely fine and you can look to gradually build up the amount of time they are in the bath and hopefully this will then, over time, lead to them sitting down.
You might find that the option to put their swimming costume/trunks on and/or their armbands for their bath also adds a fun element! You could also include the Cocomelon bath song to this to make it even more fun!
Older children
It might be that your little one doesn’t want to have a bath every night and would prefer to have a shower (if this is an option), so it might be looking at having a routine as to when it needs to be a bath (hair wash night etc) and times when it can be a shower.
Bath bombs can be very popular with older children to turn the water different colours and can also feel like a pamper opportunity!
Crazy soap also seems to be very popular with children and again helps to make bath times fun!
With any of the products which are going into the water with your child, you need to be there to supervise and follow the manufacturer’s instructions. If your child has sensitive skin they may not be suitable.
Resources:
Baby Baths:
Bath supports
Bath seats (older babies)
Bath mats
Bath thermometers
Books about having a bath
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