Eating as a family
Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant
In recent weeks there are has certainly been much more opportunity for us all to have family mealtimes. For many families this has been a really positive thing to have come out of this difficult situation, having more time to cook, but also being able to sit at the table all together.
As it is National Weaning week this week, we have decided to have a look at the things that you can do with each age group to enhance the family mealtime experience.
Weaning stage
This can be a stage which parents often feel excited about, but it can also leave you feeling a little daunted about what to feed your baby and the associated potential risks.
If you are about to start the process or have just started, then check out our Weaning Fun blog which has lots of stage related hints and tips!
In relation to supporting the weaning process when eating as a family, here are a few tips which you might want to try!
Where possible, try to bring the highchair to the table. This gives an understanding for your baby from the very start that we eat at the table which is a place where not only do we sit to eat, but also where we chat and socialise with each other.
Depending on how you decide to wean your little one (baby led, puree or a mix of both), try to have something to eat at the same time as your baby. They are learning a new skill and this comes from watching the role models around them (i.e. you and their older siblings if they have them). Your baby will watch how you put the food to your mouth and will also respond to the facial expressions that you make. The more smiles and “yum” noises you make, the more positive they are going to be about trying the new foods. Just remember that your baby may also make faces when they are trying new flavours and textures but this doesn’t mean that they don’t like it!
As you move through the weaning process and your baby is eating more meals, where possible try to eat the same food as your little one. Babies will be looking at what is around them and if they can see what you have on your plate is the same as on theirs, they are going to be much more inclined to eat. It also means that you are able to share your food (as long as it doesn’t have additional salt on it etc) which enhances the social aspect of eating together. Moving through the different stages of weaning is all about tastes, textures and flavours - have a look at our blog on this topic!
Do also have a look at other blogs on the topic of weaning as they will also give you lots more information on this stage. For example, good reliable sources of information are SR Nutrition and WeanIn15.
Toddler Stage
A blog we have written for this age group is Make mealtimes about the experience - Not just the food!
This stage can often be the tricky stage for parents as your once ‘eat anything’ baby can become choosier and you might see more food refusal from them than you did previously. This is a developmental norm for our children, and it is about how we manage this in order to move through the stage as easily as possible. We have also written a blog on fussy, picky, choosy eaters which covers this in more detail so do have a read.
To help with mealtimes at this age, here are some ideas which might give you some inspiration:
Due to the developmental stage that your little one is going through, one of the great ways to encourage food is through sharing plates e.g. putting a plate in the middle of the table with the components of a meal on it. This might be sandwiches, vegetable sticks, crisps, fruit etc and then you all share the food by taking it from this plate. It helps your child to learn about portion control, but also about having a sense of choice. When you start this initially, they might take all the ‘nice’ things but if a balance of foods are offered and they are sharing the food with you and seeing what you choose, very often they start to make different choices.
We can get stuck with the idea of always eating at the table and for majority of meals this is where we need to be, however we can have some fun too! I don’t know about anyone else but I really enjoy eating outside when the weather allows, and this is no different for our children. Look at the different places that you can eat, so it might be a picnic in the garden or building a den in the house where you can have snack or even an indoor picnic! Putting food into different containers, such as a lunchbox, for them to eat in their den can be exciting and interesting for your child and they very often eat better.
Starting to involve your toddler with cooking can really help them to explore different foods. They are able to watch the process and this can often make them keener to try it when it is cooked. If you are just starting to cook with your toddler, don’t make it to complicated or choose a recipe that will take too long, take into account their concentration span. Keep it simple and then develop over time as you both build confidence.
Once your toddler is able to be a little more independent try giving them some responsibility. Having a cupboard which has all their cups, plates and cutlery which they can access can mean that you can ask them to get out their own plate, cup etc for the mealtime. This means that not only are they are making choices, but they are also learning life skills which will develop as they get older. Giving them a sense of responsibility and autonomy can really help them feel involved in the mealtime process.
3 years and up stage
Children at this stage can change their tastes on what can feel like a daily basis so some meals might be more successful than others. Try not to be disheartened if there are some meals which are liked more than others - keep going and the next time it is offered it might be eaten with enthusiasm and enjoyment, no two days are the same!
To help engage children of these ages in family mealtimes here are some ideas:
Children like to have a voice, so get them to help with planning meals for the week. Sit down as a family and put down the meals for each day (this can just be dinner or you can also include breakfasts and lunches!). This helps to see what others like and dislike but also helps with compromising that sometimes they might not get their favourite every day and that everyone gets to have their choices.
Creating themed nights, maybe once a week or once a month. This can be something as simple as choosing a country, researching the meals that are eaten there and then recreating this. This can help with children being more experimental; sometimes when we put a meal in front of them with no explanation or ‘story’ they are not as sold in.
Expand on giving responsibility from the toddler stage - in this age group look at getting your children to set the table and clear the table after a meal. It is important for children to know that if someone is cooking the meal then everyone needs to play a part.
Teenagers
This is sometimes a group which gets forgotten as it is often assumed that teenagers will be reluctant to sit at the table with the family and that if they do it will be a difficult experience. Try not to make this assumption as for this age group the family mealtime can often be the time when they will feel connected with the rest of the family and can open up the opportunity for conversation.
Just because they are older it doesn’t mean that cooking together stops! This can be a great way to spend time together or to really develop independence and build on life skills by allowing them to cook a meal for everyone themselves. This might not be something they want to do every day but start with maybe once a week and see how it goes.
Eating out is something that lots of people enjoy, but for teenagers this certainly becomes a part of their social development, for example eating out with friends, which can often lead to them trying foods that they haven’t had before. However this can be expensive (and at the moment during lockdown isn’t possible at all) so look at creating ‘fake aways’ as they can be the next best thing! There are lots of recipes online for recreating the favourites - it can be much less expensive and enjoyed by the whole family together.
This next suggestion can be used with the ‘3 years and up’ age group as well. ‘3 good things’ - This involves each person around the table telling everyone else ‘their 3 good things’ – things that have happened over the last 24 hours which have made them laugh/smile and have been positive, including how and why they were positive. This can really open up the conversation and often brings things up that you would never normally hear about if you hadn’t given everyone this opportunity. Don’t forget the adults around the table need to do this too!
I always say to families that it is about the mealtime, not about the food. The focus needs to be on the being together and the talking and interacting around the table (or in your picnic den!). If it is all about what your child is eating or how much, this can often make mealtimes a battle ground. Some days they will eat really well and other days they might not, but look at it over the week. If on balance over the week they have eaten well then that’s ok! Another important point to note is that conversation should never be forced, so avoid asking lots of questions - sometimes we just don’t want to talk, so just enjoy having them sitting at the table with you! Hopefully I have been able to give you some ideas for all of the different age groups to help the whole family enjoy the experience of eating together as much as possible - have fun!
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