Written by Dr Lisa Turner

The festive season of Christmas is often celebrated as ‘the most wonderful time of the year’, but for many, it brings significant stress and emotional turmoil. Christmas often has a way of amplifying everything - good or bad and frequently comes with expectations to spend time with people or engage in activities we may not enjoy. This is often driven by the desire to please others.

Extended time off during this season can amplify shifts in family dynamics, leaving individuals feeling overwhelmed by the weight of others’ expectations and the pressure to navigate complex relationships. In addition, stress and overwhelm often comes from a sense of imbalance, when the effort, love or care you’ve given doesn’t seem to flow back in the way you’d hope. However, this doesn’t have to define your festive season.

With the Christmas season often feeling like a magnifying glass on our relationships, here are 5 ways to make this Christmas feel a little lighter, and brighter.

1. Let go of the picture-perfect Christmas. Often, we imagine Christmas to be picture-perfect, with everybody gathered around the table, eating, in unity. However, a real Christmas is never quite like that. To avoid this expectation, it is important to accept that imperfections are part of the season. The food might not be perfect, and the conversations might be questionable, but these quirks are what makes every Christmas unique and personal.

Social media often adds to the pressure, with influencers posting flawless Christmas images. Instead of comparing yourself to these unrealistic portrayals, focus on those small, meaningful moments closer to home, like sharing a laugh with your loved ones. By letting go of the unrealistic expectations, you create space for connection to thrive.

2. Understand what’s beneath the bitterness. Only once you have let go of the picture-perfect Christmas, you can take a deeper look at underlying tensions. It is rarely about what’s happening in the moment, and is often the residue of past experiences, where love, appreciation or care felt missing. Christmas has a way of stirring up these emotions because it’s steeped in expectation and tradition.

To address this, ask yourself reflective questions like, “Is your resentment really about what’s happening now, or is it an echo of an earlier hurt?”, “Were your efforts overlooked?” or “Did love feel withheld?”. By asking yourself these questions you can gain clarity on the deeper sources of your emotions, helping you to navigate the complexities of Christmas with ease.

 3. Set boundaries that work for you. One of the biggest challenges of the holiday season is the expectation of spending enough time with your family and friends. Being pulled in too many directions can often leave individuals feeling overwhelmed and left to feel stretched thin. To navigate this, it is important to set boundaries that work for you. Decide what you can realistically give, be clear about your needs, and release any guilt about saying no.

For example, if three days of family gatherings feels overwhelming, commit to one lunch instead. Being clear about your needs is vital, simply let your family know what works for you. If you need to head off early to recharge, then make this clear. Boundaries are about protecting your energy and not shutting people out, so you can be fully engaged when you do show up.

4. Step away from the drama. Without clear boundaries, family gatherings can easily escalate into tense situations. The stress and overwhelm of the season might tempt you to snap or respond with a sharp comeback. Instead, take a pause, and step away from the drama.

When the tensions rise, taking a deep inhale can give you the space you need to stop yourself from reacting on autopilot. Often when a family member oversteps, it is easy to get defensive and angry. Instead, choose curiosity over anger. Try saying, “that’s an interesting take. What makes you think that?”, you may not agree with their answer, but you’ll break the cycle of defensiveness. If engaging feels too difficult, just let it slide. You know who you really are and nobody can alter your beliefs. Sometimes the best way to navigate stress and overwhelm is to sidestep unnecessary traps to maintain the peace.

5. Find the connection in the chaos. Stress and overwhelm often take hold when we focus on what’s going wrong. However, shifting your energy to small moments of connection can be enough to lighten the mood and create positivity.

Start a new tradition by suggesting something lighthearted and inclusive, like a family quiz, a Christmas walk, or decorating biscuits together. Take a moment to notice and appreciate small gestures, like someone helping with the washing up or making a funny comment that lightens the mood. Finally, give the gift of gratitude. A genuine “Thank you for being here” can go a long way in diffusing tension and fostering connection.

Ultimately, Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect, or free of tension. However, it is an opportunity to reconnect, reset and reimagine what the season means to you. By letting go of the picture-perfect Christmas, understanding the deeper meaning, setting boundaries and stepping away from the drama, you can navigate stress and overwhelm with ease, helping to transform it into something lighter and more meaningful.

About Dr Lisa Turner

Dr Lisa Turner is the founder of CETfreedom, and the bestselling author of Our Conscious Tipping Point and CET Yourself Free. A trauma survivor herself, she has spent the past two decades developing techniques that help survivors from all walks of life including celebrities and military personnel to release negative emotions and end the cycle of emotional trauma.

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